That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
