The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
