if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
