seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
