I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
last night I used snow as a chaser
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