so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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