i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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