I can text with my tongue
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
