There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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