we're blogging at a bar
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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