I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
