Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
