Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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