I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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