wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
