so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
