I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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