have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
