she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
