so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
