btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Randomize
