so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
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The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
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I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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