when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
