It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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