guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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