Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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