Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
