What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
