Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
