There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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