my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
