You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize