I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I looked at my own cervix.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
