WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
