I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
