im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
