god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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