is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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