i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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