Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
