i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
