Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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