look no pants
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
