I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
