Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize