The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
