I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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