i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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