She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
