Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize