Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
