yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
