Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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