Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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