You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I love you. Go after that dick
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
