My first STD was from a foam party
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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