i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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